Radical Accountability For Radical Change

Sometimes you need to take a moment, look into the mirror, stare at yourself dead in the eyes, and with complete honesty- take note of the present moment. 

Ask yourself if you like what you see, if you like what you are doing every day, if you enjoy who you are around, if you like who you are. 

I will trigger some people with this message, but it needs to be said-

You are exactly where you are in life because of your choices, your words, and your thoughts.

“But.. this happened to me” “I wasn’t expecting so and so” “I am a good person, I don’t deserve this” “I didn’t choose my family” 

Babe, it is way too easy to make yourself a victim. 

Of course, horrible things happen to us. Things that seem completely out of your control. 

Maybe an accident, a death, assault, heartbreak, the loss of a job. 

I am not here to tell you that your negative experiences are not valid. They are very real, and they hurt. They may have even changed you drastically. 

There are so many scenarios in which we can put blame on another person for “putting us” in the circumstance we are currently living in. 

Maybe your boss was shitty. Your partner was abusive. Your parents didn’t support you. You were diagnosed with a life threatening disease. You were attacked. Your business failed. You lost something or someone dear to you. WHATEVER it is..

The truth is, you have choices. 

You can’t go back and change a situation, but you can take the situation that you are in, look at it with honesty, and decide to make a change in a positive direction. 

You have a choice to think about your situation differently. To see the opportunity, as hard as it may be to find in that moment. 

Staying positive during hard times is easier said than done. I’m not telling you to ignore your problems. Use your problems as fuel. Find your why.

Do you want your future children to see that you just gave up when times got tough? Or are you going to give them a killer story of how you faced your biggest challenges and overcame them? 

Complaining is addicting. Pointing fingers is addicting. Looking for validation from others is addicting. Those things are easy to do. But are they helping you or just temporarily making you feel better?

You know what’s hard? Taking accountability. Being real with yourself. Seeing where you made mistakes and owning up to them. It’s uncomfortable. That’s where change happens.

Be grateful. You may think that there is little to be grateful for when you are going through the lowest time in your life. If you really take a moment though, you will find that there is so much that you are blessed with. 

Hot water. A home. A fridge full of healthy food. Time. Health. Fresh air. Resources. Good people. Access to information on the internet. 

Whatever it is for you- take a moment to write out all of your blessings and say THANK YOU, no matter how seemingly small it may be. It will give you perspective and help recognize where you can find opportunity within those things. 

How will you be blessed with more when you can’t even be grateful when you have little? 

Try this: Write out your current challenges on paper. Look at them. Don’t ignore them. See where you have let things slide. Where you have failed. What you wish you could change. 

Then on another sheet of paper, write out your ideal situation. 

Visualize yourself in the future, having already overcome these challenges- how are you feeling, where are you working, where are you living, what are you doing day to day? Be delusional for 10 minutes. 

Think of your best case scenario, feel yourself filled with joy experiencing that reality in the present moment. 

Feel grateful that you are going through this growth period. 

Next, write out how you will solve your challenges. Think of creative solutions. Think of who you have to become in order to get to your ideal state. Write it out. 

Break down your goals in 4 stages- 1 year, 6 month, 3 month, and 1 month goals. Categorize them if you need to. Then think of and write out what you can do today to take a step towards these goals. 

This has helped me tremendously and if you try it, I know it will help you too.

Seeing everything laid out on paper in front of you can be sobering, but at the same time it can be empowering. Don’t be discouraged, be courageous. 

God sees your heart. He knows your pain. Trust that He has you exactly where He needs you in this moment.

I truly believe we are all meant to go through intense challenges for good reason. To grow- spiritually, mentally, emotionally. To be more empathetic and understanding of others. To overcome in order to help others go through similar situations. 

It’s not for nothing. 

You can wallow in sadness or disappointment for having to go through tests, or you can rise up to your challenges, face them, and become a stronger, kinder, and more resilient person. 

Cut the toxicity out of your life. Change your environment. Get active. 

Take note of your thoughts, and adjust them to reflect the best version of you. 

Speak confidently and positively about your present and future state. 

Take radical accountability, because darling, you have more power over your life than you think. You just have to change your perspective and keep moving forward in the right direction. 

The desires you have in your heart were planted there for a reason. You are meant to achieve those things, you just have to believe in yourself. 

You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. 

With love,

Nat 

“Positive thinking is not about being delusional. It’s about learning to take control of internal processing and knowing it’ll shape your external environment.” Andrew Huberman